please come you make the beer taste better
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
