i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
