tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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