Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
