She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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