this just has baby written all over it
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
