Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my being single is dangerous.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
