worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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