K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
cat food counts as protein by the way
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize