do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
