Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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