i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
