There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
