One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
