first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How does one acquire holy water?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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