guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
