i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
