Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
