So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
did i walk over a car last night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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