I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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