just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You pole danced in your parka.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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