My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
