i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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