I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
