So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
