Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
