I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize