the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
