If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
foreskin is a definite game changer
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
