New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
