Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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