i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
