is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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