Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
