I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
