just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
