When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
