Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
