Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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