dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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