Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
