I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
