New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
