O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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