Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
