And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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