he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
