i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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