Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
