I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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