I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
