He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
