Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
