You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
