eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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