She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
