dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize