Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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