how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize