Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
