elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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