Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
