dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well you can't waste a boner
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
