Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
