I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
