you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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