I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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