First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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