I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize