Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
