i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
