You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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