dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
