absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
