omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
