i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
