She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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