My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
