That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
