at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
