If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
