i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
