Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
